I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIIIIIIVE! Only just, though, so bare with me.

Well, it's certainly been a very, very long four months. What have I been doing, you may ask? I've been using this time to mull over my past poetic exploits and to sit back and reassess my view on life, in a very critical way; call it moment of enlightenment, if you will. I've made various observations about life, my life in particular. These are:

1. I don't like pretentious people.
2. My poetic style annoys me.
3. William Blake is THE Romantic poet.
4. I love Romantic poetry.
5. I wish I could write Romantic poetry.
6. I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator.
7. How the heck did I suddenly develop stage fright, after years of public performance with no problems?
8. Where have all the bastards gone?

Well, that's that. I'm not saying that the above seven (I just had to include the last one. Song lyrics, if you must know.) statements are the culmination of four months of musing, and I'm most certainly not going to justify my absence with them....they're just some things I've been thinking about in the four months I've not been here.

I should probably attempt to tell you all what's been going on with me since I last visited deviantART. Well, first of all, shortly after posting Untitled (which I will be sure to actually give a title at some point), I jetted off to Italy, when I started my obsessive self-evaluation. I confessed to myself that I, a poet, am afraid of writing poetry. I seem to have a strange fear that any new poem I write is going to be terrible, and is going to ruin my "poetic name" if you were. I've seen people who can spit out two or three good poems in one day, and I really envy them. I seem to be overcoming this "fear", though, and attempted myself to write three good poems over two days myself! I'll let you judge how good they are.

Yes, the next big thing I have to mention, is that I entered another poetry competition! Woo! The Tim Seward Poetry Prize rolled around again this year, with the theme of "the future" this time, and I entered three poems; "Angels", "Fickle Destinies" and "Impatience calls for Divination!". "Impatience.." won third prize, which really, really surprised me, as I had invested the least time and emotion in it, and was really a "spur of the moment" type thing. Again, you can judge for yourselves. I read out my poem in front of a group of people (no stage fright), at the prize giving (they put on an actual ceremony this year, as published poet, Mr. Stewart Henderson (an ex Liverpool poet!), was giving out the prizes) and my performance was apparently very "flamboyant". I was kind of peeved that it was the poem I'd put the least effort into, but what can you do, eh? Oh, I also bought a book from this Mr. Henderson, which he signed. He also told me that I could become a performance poet if I wanted to. Wow. He also read some of his material, which is mostly humorous and aimed at children. He really inspired me to start writing for children. The minds of children are incredible; they really don't have limits. They're not held down by common sense, physics, reality or anything "boring" like that. They still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, and simply the idea of furthering these wonderful imaginations is just....amazing. Watch the space for childen's poetry, and possibly stories for children too.

My AS grades also came in; much, much lower than expected. C for English Literature, C for ICT, C for philosophy and D for drama. Painful. This just means more studying, less going out, and five, yes, five retakes in January. I already know I'm going to do much, much better than last time, as I'm now up to date with an integral component of examination success; sleep.

Speaking of exams, I had my exam at RADA today for a coveted "Shakespeare certificate". I knew my stuff pretty well, but as soon as I entered the exam room to recite my sonnet/speech, it all left me and I was overcome with nerves. I'm pretty sure I didn't pass, as I had to be prompted several times, but my sight-reading went relatively well. It's happened in my last two rehearsals too. Why? I talked to my teacher afterwards, and she said it's a phase that most actors go through. Pfft, what's wrong with me?

I've also been reading a lot. For anyone who's interested in good books, you must read "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger, if you haven't done so already. Excellent, excellent book. I also suggest DBC Pierre's "Vernon God Little" and the "Adrian Mole's" latest outing, for fans of the series. Oh yes, as mentioned above, I've fallen in love with the works of William Blake, and indeed all Romantic poetry. My recent performance in college, and also on the advice of my good friend ~JamesHoward, (visit him, now!) I've started reading quite a bit of Beat poetry. As you may or may not know, I'm crazy about the "Beat" period in America, so I'm also looking forward to one day, maybe writing some of my own.

Well, I think this entry has gone on long enough. I'd better get to uploading some of my newest pieces too. Oh, one last thing. Without sounding too conceited, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to clear my watchlist of 527 items, but if anyone really wants me to have a look at something, I'd be more than happy to. Just note me.

Until next time, much love to all of you.

Aris